Maioush

The time we share is special to me, a bringing back to love.

Your laughter still warms my soul, your smile still echoes from my own.

Yet I can not say your chance will come.

Questions and doubts still remain.

My hurt remembered far too strong.

The tears still all too real.

Fear beats strong within when thoughts of risks return.

Do I have the strength to wait once more?
Do I have the courage to try?

You once before asked for time, asked me to take your hand in mine.

But you walked away without a thought; I turned and found you gone.

Trust now absent is hard returned, and “time” has long run out

Sweet words can not erase the past, not set the wrong now right

I can not say what I feel for you.
Can’t say what the future will bring.

Truth is found in actions clear

I wait for yours to begin.

Too bad, the long weekend is over, it was a nice one, on Saturday I celebrated my birthday with my friends, I spent Sunday shopping for makeup and candles “wich is more than addictive for me”, I got myself bunch of flavored lip glosses, and a candles still makes me every time a light it.Today I decided to spend the day sleeping and lazy, but I guess you don’t get all what you are asking for, at 7:30am some workers decided that today is the day for cutting the trees in front of my room, on OOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOD, the noise was so bad, and ya allaaaaaaaaaaah, today is a holiday, bediiiiii anaaaaaaaaaaam ya bashaaaaaaaaaaaar.. I ended up yelling at them to start the other way, because they gave me the most painful headache I can ever get!!!

I tried to go back to sleep, but I didn’t get lucky until 10:30, and I ended up waking up at 1:00 .. wow, that’s too late.

Any way.. I was planning to clean the room, so I got up took a shower, eat something real quick and ran to my room, to take out all the sheets, the curtain, throw threw them in the washing machine, and went back to throw half of the room out (which by the way I latterly did)… tons of papers I don’t really use, dozens of shirts and pants (they are so big in me now :D ) .. I kept only the stuff that I ACTUALLY use.

God I feel so light, the room is super clean, the sheets smell wonderful, the new candle is on, the curtain is so shiny, and yeah my closet is half empty (sounds weird for a girl, but it feels soooooooo great :) ) ….

Very nice weekend, but I still don’t feel like going to work tomorrow… I want more :(

on the other hand ,  

on the other hand , this is a clip for Basem Fghali imitating Asalah.. very funny :D .. Enjoy

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD8vjVo8IyU]

Yeah well… :)  Everybody I know greeted me for my birthday already :) … this was a great one, my golden because today is May.26 and I just turned 26 :) , this happens only once in your life time.. on the 26^th I turned 26 .. heheheh cool.. 

it all started last night at 12:00am PT when I started getting messages from all my friends back in Jordan, that felt wonderful.. thanks guys thanks to all of you.After Mnosh found out through my profile that it was my birthday, the other knew too :D , thanks for all of you, Isam, Sel3, Qwaider, Dima, Nido, Who-Sane, Qabbani (hope I didn’t forget anyone) .. thanks to all of you, you guys are really great :)

Well, in the morning I was pretty busy on the phone with all my friends.. seriously guys, friends are awesome?? I got calls from all my friends, even the ones I didn’t really talk to during the whole year :D … they remember my birthday because of independence day on Jordan LOOOOOOL .. that a day you’ll never forger, the next day is Maioush’s Birthday ;)

My evening was incredible, Fatina planned a party for me although I asked not to “I’m glad she didn’t listen to me :D ), it turned my mood upside down… I was jumping, singing, dancing, and don’t even let me start about the food my coffee ice cream cake.. YUM YUM YUM, I wish you were there.. “Yalla inshalla el saneh el jay” :D … Very special thanks to you Fatoon :D …

This is a BIG thank you for everybody.. my birthday is over, I danced, sang, got some great gifts, from candles, to clothes, to perfumes, to jewelry…  WOW. Really great :D

Yalla ya jama3a, nshoofkom el 3eid el meelad el jay inshalla .. thanks 3an jad :)

اي صفحة تستوعبها مخيلة الزمن لكيّ تحكي عن رمل مرصود بين طرقات صعبة, أو قليل من حفنات الذهب الممتلئة في عيني و تبرق مع الخداع, و تعذب السراب, و تحتضر أمام كل ما أريده.

أي صفحة من العمر تشرق لكيّ تكون شيئاَ آخر, أراها أملاَ يتصاعد و يندمج مع أغلى كلمة… يا أنت… يا كل شيئ!!

صدقني, أنت فقط من أحببت, و ما هذه الأيام سوى حلم.. كما كنت أنت الحلم الذهبي, والذي دخلت معه قفصاَ لامعاَ, و أنت تقبل كالسحاب.. ألقام فرحة بيدين ممتلئتين حباَ, و حناناَ, و حياة جديدة…

ألقاك فرحة, لتأتي كما لم تأتي من فبل, أراك في الحب لوحة جميلة, و كلمة حميمة, و رونقاَ يتداخل مع سجاد العالم الفاتن…

لا أيها القلب الحنون… لا تعتقد اني لك قلب ساجد, نعم أحبك, و نعم أريدك, لكن أيضاَ.. لست تمثالاَ من براويز الهند القديمة, و لا لحناَ من ألحان بتهوفن الصماء, و لا أملك حسن سندريلا, و لا صوت فيروز…

أنا من انا.. كما خلقت.. جهنمية الخطوة, عصرت الدرب على جبيني فأثمرت ماضياَ أليماَ, و حزناَ عميفاَ… أملك عينين سوداوين جداَ, كعينيّ ليلى المذبوحة على مشانق الحب, أملك خدين ناضجين, أكملا السادسة والعشرين.

أنا أحب بشوق, و أكره بعنف, احطم عندما أصدم, و ادوس على من يعتبرني ذليلة له.

أنا من انا… أحب فلا أحس, أفتح قلبي فلا أحطمه, أدعوه أن يرشنّي بالرذاذ, يجعلني أنتفض كالحمام, و أبلل ريشي بنفسي.

لأني أعشق العذاب, ان اسأم, و لن أعتبر حبك نهاية, بل هو بداية كل مشاويري, حتى هذه اللحظة…

Foolish imaginations.

Tumultuous thoughts.

Confusion reigns.

Two souls connect, but to what end?

What is expected?

Drawn to each other, yet not.

What is this I feel?

Flirtatious moment, or appreciation of heart, mind and values?

A rush of jealousy.

A momentary pang.

Laughter from another source.

I watch, my mind racing forward.

What am I thinking?

Too soon, too far.. my conscience calls out.

But my eyes watch for you.

Am I being too bold, speaking as this?

Or not clear enough.

Do I capture the moment, or tread cautiously on

and risk missing the time?

I know not.

the answers escape me.

my thoughts dance before me.

When God created heaven and earth, he spoke them into being.
When he created man, he formed him, and breathed life into his nostrils.But you, woman, he fashioned after he breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate.
He allowed a deep sleep to come over him so he could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity.

From one bone, he fashioned you. He chose the bone that protects man’s life. He chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.
Around this bone, he shaped you. He modeled you.  He created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib’s; strong, yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart.
His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.
Support man as the rib cage supports the body.

You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to be next to him, and a partner to him, so please… be one.

Excuse my language in this post my friends.. My apologies to everyone…Everybody.. Meet your new friend Maioush… :D

And so I’m back, I’m still so damn disappointed (BIG TIME), still so freakin upset about everything happened, but you know what, running away from it is not the answer, avoiding everybody is not the answer, and definitely not to talk about it is SO NOT the answer.

Ok lets get to it.. My BREAK report:

It was a very stressful one (still is actually), too much drama, a lot of surprises (which I never imagined, even in my wildest dreams, that one day I will be actually dealing with), but here we are, I don’t care any more, I don’t want to care, WHATEVER!!! bel 3arabi… TOZ

The funny thing is, 2 years ago.. wait no.. 3 years ago to be exact, if I was in the same situation, I would of dealt with it, TOTALLY different (and I don’t mean it in a good way by any chance), but HEY.. look at me now :D … simply I’m saying TOZ (sorry but that’s the truth) 3an jad TOZ … mesh far2a ma3i any more

I have a very close friend who used to tell me all the time, “people are evil until they prove they are not”.. “Man was he right!!!” .. and did I used to reply? …

NOOOOOOOOO people are all good, there is no such a thing as evil, and even evil people can be really nice if you give them a chance… people are all nice until they proce they are not, “Damn it.. I’m so freakin wrong!!!”

But any way… I’m back with a personality makeover :) … I’m not that quiet calm lady any more, I’m not that patience understanding girl as well… ME FIRST, if I’m not happy about something or some one, hell with the world, why would I try my best to make you happy while I’m not???? No more putting people’s happiness before mine. No more loving people more than loving myself …Yeah Yeah.. I WAS like that; I was sooooo unfair to myself just to make the people I CARE about happy… well guess what? Those days are over :D … I don’t care .. TOZ.. JAD JAD JAD TOZ

Patient Name: Maioush

Medication Name: Break (Time off)

Direction: Take 1 Break until symptoms are gone as needed for stress.

Simply… I need a break, I need to take some time off from every thing around, I need to clear my mind from so many things, I’ll miss everybody, I’ll miss checking my blog, and all the blogs I check in a daily basis… I’ll miss Qwaider Planet … but I really need this

See you guys soon

Love you all…

Maioush

So today May 13^th will be Mother’s day in United States … and since Friday was the last working day before that occasion.. the Medical department had a huge party to celebrate the occasion :D That was one cool party.. the very first time to enjoy since I started working where I work :) , and although I’m not a big fan of food, but today’s food was great :D .. especially the chicken salad, YUMMY :D

On top of that I got a gift… I was the youngest female employee in the whole department ha???? Me??? God.. if I’m the youngest, how old are the people I work with??? I know they keep calling me “kido” wherever I go, but I thought I’m the youngest in the pharmacy department, not the whole medical department… heheheh :D , I won for the youngest daughter, I was shocked!!!

So any way this post is to wish all my bloggers friends the mothers and the mothers to be a very happy mothers day… and they are :D :

First of all to my MaMa.. allah ma ye7remni mennk ya rab ya emmi… walahi ba7ebbek :D

My colleague 7aki Fadi (although we never met in Philadelphia Uni :) ) .. Happy Mother’s day to you my dear :)

The sweet sweet Kinzi .. Happy mother’s day Honey :)

The cool Mom Summer… I wish a very happy mother’s day :)

The good-looking Mom Sam… Happy Mother’s day, I guess you’ll spend it on the road :)

And to the special lady Afaf.. happy mother’s day to you too sweet heart :)

And to all the Mom’s to be and they are:

Aya

Bara2 (Sweet like a  Rose)

Dima (Simply me)

Fatoom (Natural Blu)

Hala (Soul Blossom)

Jano (Janmania)

Jumana (Voyage)

Laila (Palestinian Cosmologist)

Manal (Red Rose)

Manal (Awraq Manal)

Nido (Jeedo’s)

Ta2e3

Tamara (Tamara’s Corner)

Mala2e6

Mnosh

and everybody else I forgot to mention .. Happy Mother’s TO BE day girls :D

يا حبيبي عم صلي

تبقى بعمري تحلي

تسلملي هالطلة

 روح الله يحميك

أنا ما عندي إلا

إنت حياتي كلا

يانعمة من الله

روح الله يحميك

لك روح.. روح.. روح الله يحميك

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQaVsPkLqos]

I knew it…. I knew it… I knew it… I knew it’s going to be about the whole family, there is no other way, it makes sense, Roo7 Allah Ye7meek :) … I was thinking about “At7adda el 3alam” and how it made me cry.. his pregnant wife, “o howi kan 3aleah 7eneyyeh b had el clip mooooo taba3eyyeh.. ya laaaaaaaaahwiiiiii” that was one wonderful clip.. and now this!!! Ana ra7 ymawetni had el zalameh b 7eneyto… :)

I loved the song since day one, it means a lot to me, I was telling everybody about it, everybody I know knows how I crazy I am about this song… I have as a ring tone on my cell, I have the song on my IPod, and every single CD I have, I just have to have where ever I go … LOVE IT ….

God I get goose pumps every time o gear it… ENJOY everybody :)