Maioush

 I always loved this song, I don’t know why but this guy reminds me of Amr Diab a lot… i guess he is trying too hard to look like him too… Add tot hat that I LOVE Asalah’s voice…

Any way… enjoy this piece my friends :)

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=TdMlWbHu8jM]

He finally said it…, he finally got the courage to tell her what he never imagined he might say…, but he did say it…
He told her the hardest thing ever to be said, he gave her the choice of staying or leaving…, he gave up…just like she did…
He started to feel like he does not have the right to keep her, is not that weird?! , he always felt she is everything, how could u not keep something you can’t live without? Would you just give it up…just like he did??
he realises things are not the way they always used to be…, all that passion they used to hold for each other is gone…, he believes its not his fault nor hers…but it is certainly obvious that they lost beautiful feelings they once had…
Sometimes he thinks things could work out again…, that maybe something can be done to save what they still have, and maybe he could enjoy those feelings again…, but then he gets back to reality where bad things happen and sometimes there’s nothing can be done to stop them…
He is willing to do whatever it takes to make things work out…, but apparently, what it takes is something he cannot do…, nothing can bring him back…
And now…, he knows it is just a matter of time before they become seperated away from each other… in a way they could never get back again and heal the wounds they caused for each other…
All what they have now is a delicate fragile bond, each one of them is trying hard to hold to it…, but eventually it will be broken…

 So Eid is Friday, No it’s Saturday, la2 la2 Friday, NOOOOOOO ya jama3a Saturday.. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

This was the issue for the whole day, we called several Islamic centers, and each one of them says different thing, ENNO O BA3DEAN!!!

I hate Eid in this country, each year we have the same problem, enno tayeb if someone saw the moon, what’s the different between the city I live in and the city 20 minutes away??? Can somebody explain this to me, cuz I don’t get it!!

My family were discussing if we should celebrate Eid tomorrow or Saturday, I don’t know, but as far as I know that if someone saw the moon and the other didn’t we should follow the one who saw it sa7?? So khalas, tomorrow is Eid for us, although everybody was ready for it on Saturday, bs khalas, BOKRA EL EID .. :)

Happy Eid everybody, the ones in Jordan… enjoy your vacation, and the ones here in the states, take tomorrow off guys :) yalla have fun..

Kol 3amo ento b 5ear :)

 Ever since my life began, I realized that you are the man, I saw your wisdom, your courage too, and I learned I could rely on you.

Your tolerant nature was really great; nevertheless, you’d not hesitate to let me know when I’d been bad it must have been hard, but that’s being a dad.

You’re strong and smart and filled with love… A gift to me from up above.

Of all the men in the whole wide world whose praises are sung out loud, there is no man whom I respect more or of whom I am more proud.

Throughout the years you’ve worked so hard to provide us a happy life; you’ve been there to help and give advice, and you did it all without strife.

That is why on this day each year, I pray all your wishes come true; today we celebrate your day Baba.

Some fathers are just father figures; a real father is still very rare.

That’s why I value so highly the father daughter bond that we share.

I’m blessed to have a real father who displays his love with such ease, and that’s why I say on your birthday… Happy birthday to the best dad I know, a father I love and respect, a dad who fulfills all his duties, to teach, to guide, to protect.

If everyone had such a father, a really good dad like mine, the world would be so much better.

Happy Happy Birthday Baba o allah ytawel 3omrak ya rab…

 Ok … for some reason, this the FIFTH time I’m trying to write this damn post, every time I get to half the page I delete it and start over…

I’ve been facing this problem lately.. I mean, in real life, I don’t feel like talking any more (although I’m the most talkative person you can ever meet), but in some how I managed to write what I think of most of the time… but now, even writing bacema ahard thing to do!!

Am I depressed?? NO!! I’m perfectly fine, let me take that back, not perfectly!! But I’m fine, in fact yesterday we had a big party at my uncles house to celebrate the twins or as the call it (3aqeeqa) anybody knows what does it mean in English?? :) it was a great party well I haven’t seen that much of people in one place for more than 3 years now :D .. so it was great, o saw like more than 30 kid running around the house like crazy!!! You got the picture. :)

Aaaaaaaaaaanyyyyyyyyyyy way!!! Point is.. I’m fine, but I don’t feel like writing, well, lets say, I don’t have time any more.. Kinzi, Sam, 7aki, and the rest of the moms (and dads), how do you guys do it????? I’m not even a mom, and those twins are a handful, all I do is baby talk, make weird faces, hold the bottle, and smell like milk!!! Seriously, how do you do it, how can you find time to blog??

You see all that talk; I didn’t even say what I wanted to say hours ago now!! I wanted to talk about an issue one of the ladies mentions yesterday at the party, I wanna tell you guys about it so bad, maybe I’ll leave to the next post, I said too much today (o 3ala el fadi) I’m telling you, my IQ is soooooooo going down :( .

One thing I know for sure, in the future when I get married, NOOO TWINS!!! One baby at a time.. I love twins, but I don’t wanna raise them, one baby a time :D .. and that is your lesson for the day shabab o sbaya :D

As promised… the first movie for the twins, well, actually, the first 2 movies for the twins :) … mashalla 3aleahom they are angels…I just love them so much, some times I feel like 7aki :) with little 7aki… FA3ES!!! :D

Enjoy the movies my friends.. o allah yet3amkom ya rab ..

The birth movie…

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=21HkT1SbZJM]

I’ll be there… amazing movie, must see walahi :)

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=bn_pJlMsVbo]

I’ve been feeling that my brain is full of junk for a while now, I have so many things to say, but I don’t feel like it, I even feel too lazy to write a post, I almost write one every single day, and you know what I do when I’m done? I delete it and turn off the computer and leave, why?? God only knows.

It looks like I write more when I’m mad than when I’m happy, well, it started that way aslant!! I started this blog like 3 years ago when I was feeling down about me moving to the states, and instead of going to a shrink, I started writing and posting, looks like it works for me.

But I don’t know, these days I feel like writing so bad, but I don’t know why I’m not doing it, I know I’ll feel better when I do, but I just don’t want to..

Do you people get mad at yourselves? Cuz I do! And I’m mad at myself at this moment, I wanna do so many things, but I don’t have time to do it, and it has nothing to do with Ramadan, it’s me, I think I got used to it, although I’m not suppose to, I wanna change it, or you know what, I wanna go somewhere to be by myself for few days, and I mean by that just me, like run away and hide from everybody and everything around me to me alone, I feel like it so bad!! Bedi akoon ALONE!! JAD ALONE!! No internet, no phone, no way to communicate with any human being for few days, seriously.. I need to clear my mind, but I know that there is no way for that to happen even in my dreams.

Though primarily addressed to the women, most men who happen to feel drawn to read this post will find themselves doing so with a touch of curiosity. Of course, they think they already know what a man wants and are curious as to whether I am going to say something different or not. They think a man wants a good looking woman. Foremost, last and always. As a woman, we all know men are from a different planet, what a man is really looking for is something much deeper than that. He is wanting something to reassure him that he is an alright guy, that he is an okay person, that he is worth something.

In short, what a man really wants is validation.

He seeks this in many ways, a primary vehicle of which is his relationship with women. Something instinctive tells him that she can make him alright. Whether it be by how pretty a woman he can keep at his side, or by the scorecard of how many women he has vanquished in some romantic fashion, he sometimes goes through an entire lifetime attempting to feel good about himself through having relationships with women.

In the classic movie taken from the play Harvey, with Jimmy Stewart, there is a scene in which a very rigid psychiatrist, Dr. Willie Chumley, begins to let down his emotional defenses and reveal his true desires in life. He said if his fondest wish were to come true, it would be to just lie in his comfortable chair for hours and have some compassionate female simply rubbing his head, saying over and over, “Poor boy!”

The humor in the character is the fact that there is a little bit of Dr. Chumley in every man. Down deep he wants to be unconditionally loved just like a little boy by a perfect, loving mother.

Pride, of course, causes that vulnerability to be hidden as a man grows from childhood into manhood. First it is hidden from others and then at last it is hidden from himself, but it is still there waiting to be discovered.

Meanwhile, man begins to seek some sort of gratification as a substitute for this missing unconditional love from a source he can look up to, and he usually turns to those substitutes that never quite fill him up, emotionally speaking. There is always something lacking, or as the Rolling Stones have said and capitalized on, he “can’t get no satisfaction.”

But the fact remains, he is vulnerable, very vulnerable. And for that wise woman who understands this it provides an opening to secure the man of her choice like spearing fish in a barrel!

You see, most men going around trying to sport a good looking woman on their arm, or keeping lists of their female conquests, for one reason and one reason alone: It gives them a sense of validation and being worth something, and that is a feeling they desperately feel the need for.

The only problem is, this kind of validation is temporary and fleeting and, like a drug or alcohol, only leaves him feeling empty and in need of another fix as soon as a little time has gone by.

Man’s greatest vulnerability is not a physical need, but a psychological one. It is the need to be loved, but not just loved by anyone – to be loved by someone he senses is emotionally independent and strong. This kind of love is validating and worthwhile.

A man may think he needs a bimbo by his side to show off to the other guys, but in his heart he knows he’s perpetrating a fraud. She may help him make the other guys jealous, evoking a kind of prideful satisfaction in one way on his part, but in his heart he knows she’s not what he really wants or needs. He’s compromised for this because he’s lacking the real thing he wants.

No, what a man really wants is a woman who loves him in spite of himself, but won’t put up with his bull.

 Well, I’m ok el Hamdolla (if you’re interested), very busy with Ramadan, I’m trying to be good this year, remember when I promised to start praying inshalla, well… so far I haven’t skipped one prayer el Hamdolla 100 times, I’m in part 21, sooret Al-Room, where are you in reading Quran?

This Ramdan is not like any other Ramadan has passed by all means, this is my first Ramadan away from my family, I’m staying at my uncles house since the beginning of Ramadan to help them with the twins, and I tell you guys, it’s a FULL TIME JOB!!! We don’t have time to do anything, includes eating, for some reason they cry every day at athan time.. what on earth, 2 of us hold the babies and the third one prepares their food, so we start eating an hour late!! AAAAAHHH!!! O miss having Iftar with my family ya jama3a…

I miss mama’s food so much, they are 25 minutes away, but baba comes late from work, and he hates it when u ask him to drive again, besides that, the traffic is REALLY BAD toward my uncles house, it takes them more than an hour and a half, so I end up seeing them once a week :(

Any way, Ramdan is a busy month, I barely have time to sleep walahi, so yen3ad 3aleana o 3aleakom bel 5ear ya rab ya jama3a, sorry for being so lazy to post, but I truly miss you all :)