You know you’re a mom when

  1. sb10062916r-001Your perfume is Eau de Baby food.
  2. You know closing a door silently is an art form.
  3. You realize you’re talking about poop in public again.
  4. You realize the kids have been in bed for an hour and you’re still watching cartoons.
  5. Shopping alone feels like vacation.
  6. You reheat your coffee 3 times and still don’t’ get to drink it.
  7. You’ve experienced stroller envy.
  8. You’ve found something you lost in the toilet.
  9. Silence makes you nervous.
  10. Nothing feels better than a long shower. Alone.
  11. You fold laundry during your free time.
  12. You believe door bell ringing at nap time is unforgivable.
  13. You wish every store had a drive through.
  14. You have 100 cheerios and 50 raisins at the bottom on your purse.
  15. The gift doesn’t matter, only the little person behind it.
  16. You wash the same load of laundry at least twice before you remember to empty it.
  17. You consider Goldfish crackers a food group.
  18. You listen to your kids’ favorite tunes even when you’re driving by yourself.
  19. You can cry in a Huggies commercial.
  20. You consider going to the bathroom by yourself the height of luxury.
  21. You know how badly stepping on a piece of Lego can hurt.
  22. You think wrestling alligators would be easier than getting kids in bed on time.
  23. You save lives on a daily basis.
  24. You spend more on carpet cleaning products than make up.
  25. Your husband tells you it isn’t worth buying anything nice until the kids move out to college.
  26. You cry with happiness when one of your children consents to eating broccoli.
  27. You tell yourself pizza has all the food groups.
  28. Some days you just want to quit motherhood.
  29. You have clothes in every size under the sun.
  30. You consider Outback Steakhouse fine dining.
  31. You will never ever be able to sort, process or print all the photos you take.
  32. Your kisses have magical, healing properties.
  33. You have sung the same song a trillion times.
  34. You daydream about a land where women go to the bathroom alone and don’t have to narrate what they’re doing in there.
  35. Some days watching them is like seeing your heart do somersaults in front of your very eyes.
  36. You couldn’t watch the Olympics without wondering if that might be your kids one day.
  37. Cereal is a breakfast, lunch, and dinner kind of food at your house.
  38. You are more excited to introduce your boys to one of your favorite movies than when you watched it the first time yourself.
  39. Having kids has taught you how to love and be loved like nothing else on earth.
  40. Your body is soft in all the right places and perfect for comforting and cuddling.
  41. You are deeply loved.
  42. You love deeper than today and further than tomorrow.

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