Mirrored Glasses

I have a job where I work with people. I work hard at what I do and I think that I have been successful. Because I am around so many people over the course of my day, I get a fair sampling of how people interact with other people.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people walk through this world looking at everyone as though they have mirrored glasses on. They travel each day looking everyone in the face, but all they can really see is themselves being reflected back. They miss how they affect other people because they are too busy being concerned with how other people affects them.

Usually, self-centeredness is only a symptom of a greater problem. Low self-esteem and poor social skills make these people constantly paranoid. Because they are unable to deal with the world at face value, they are compulsively manipulative and often dishonest. While I believe that the trauma of divorce and other broken relationships can lead to all of these personality flaws, I also believe that some people just turn out this way because of upbringing.

The hardest part of dealing with people like this is knowing that they will never be able to see things from your point of view. Reasoning with them is like explaining the Theory of Relativity to a toddler; they won’t get any part of what you are saying because they can’t get past the words coming out of your mouth and the tone you are speaking them in.

To these people, the emotions they feel are just as concrete as facts and logic, and are often more important. How something makes them feel far outweighs any other aspect of a situation. Their concept of “fair” extends only as far as how they feel and how they are affected by a certain situation.

Ironically, for all the gazing these people do into their own reflection, they almost never really see themselves truly. The image they see is the one they want to see. The one they want everyone else to see. Their image is completely detached from their actions because they are never responsible for anything bad that goes wrong. They are victims. Everyone is out to get them.

Sadly, these people never have real friends for long. They are masters of alienation. They convince themselves that anyone who disagrees with them never really cared about them and is therefore unworthy of their time and attention.

Do you know someone like this?

One Response to “Mirrored Glasses”

  1. KJ Says:

    I’ve been like that for a while when I was deeper into my depression. At any rate, yes, some people can’t help it, but there is a spectrum of variance among them and you can reason with them with patience. The key issue is earning their trust, and it takes a long time.

    You will be surprised, often, by how wonderful they truly are. They’re just afraid to show it, they want to show it, but they need to trust you first.

    Don’t try too hard, make it natural

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