How NOT to Pass American Idol

 I am not a huge American Idol fan, probably because I am not in to English music as much; I’m more like an Arabic music buff.

But the following is just plain common sense in my opinion from what I notices during the past few years…

I was flipping the channels tonight, and looks like it’s the opening night of American Idol. Mama is die hard fan of the show and then there was my bro Boss, who was an American Idol virgin and wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

One of the first things I said to Boss when the show started was that “you can tell if the person is a good singer before they ever open their mouth.” He totally did not believe me, but then he began to watch the show and saw contestant after contestant do the unthinkable. I believe American Idol needs to lay some ground rules for the audition.

Here are some simple guidelines to help you make it through your audition and get safely back home where you will end up if you engage in any of the following:

Wear A Costume

This seems like a no-brainer, but some of you folks still come to your audition dressed like Mickey Mouse or Captain America, I even saw a MAN today came wearing princess Leia’s bikini. I realize you are trying to be memorable, but all the judges will remember is that you looked ridiculous. It also sends a signal to them that you haven’t got what it takes to wow them with your singing talent, so you are using the costume as a substitute. Don’t. If you walk in wearing a costume, you might as well be packed and ready to go back home. The judges have already made their decision before you even opened your mouth.

Remember this guy?

Blubber Excessively

This season returns with Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Jewel who fills the fourth judges seat. These are famous folks, yes, but keep your mouth shut about it. No matter what you think and how you really feel, showering them with compliments and flattery is a bad idea. You must maintain professionalism at all times. When you walk into an audition, greet them respectfully and make it short and sweet. Show them you respect their time and that you are here to audition, in other words: “Shut Up and Sing”

Hit on Simon

Again – seems like common sense here, but it’s really tacky. Be real. If you are a woman and you do this, it makes you look like a…well, you know. And if you are a guy hitting on Simon, it may be perceived as funny, but in reality it isn’t. I have yet to see a contestant hit on Simon (or any of the judges) and make it past the first couple rounds. It’s cute at first, but then you will get cut when it becomes annoying. And it will.

Sing with the Radio

As you may have noticed, no music is allowed in your audition. This means you have to sing “a cappella” In music terms this means “A cappella music is vocal music or singing without instrumental accompaniment.

Most of the time you probably sing with music on. This makes you sound really good. Start practicing without the radio or the CD player for a while. If your neighbors complain or the dog suddenly wants to go outside, toss your American Idol registration papers in the trash. Many people think they can sing well because when they sing with the radio, their voice blends in with the music and the actual artist’s vocal. Remember you are auditioning as a solo act, not the 6th member of ‘N Sync.

Copy Someone Else

Above all else, be yourself. That is the most authentic thing you can be. We, the television viewers, can spot a fake a mile away. We know when you are trying to pull one over on us. We’re not stupid. We want to see the real you and so do Simon, Paula, Randy and Jewel.

Don’t try to copy other people. Everyone is unique, You are not going to be the next Madonna or Prince. You can only be the next fill-in-your-name-here. When you practice, sing the song the way YOU feel it. That is the only way it will sound good (thank you Leslie!). If you sing a country song, don’t fake a Southern accent. Don’t grind your voice just because Brian Johnson of AC/DC does it. When Randy Jackson talks about “putting your own spin on it,” that’s what he’s talking about – singing it the way YOU feel it. Listen to him.

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