“Men are simple,but they’re not stupid” Part 1

Most men are deeply offended by insincerity, and deeply disturbed by incongruity – for example, if we’re mad, but we smile and act nice – our behavior on the outside doesn’t match what we’re feeling on the inside. They can feel our anger, and the smile just reads “fake”. They think they can’t trust us.

They think we’re trying to control them. And a lot of the time, they’re right! We are trying to control things.

Often, we want things to go a certain way. We want to get to the party on time. We want to see that movie, or go to that restaurant. We want him to behave the way we want him to behave. And we want it now. We want the relationship all tied up nice in a bow and forever after. And we need to know. Now.

What if the way to getting what you want isn’t by asking for what you want?

What if the way to getting what you want is a way you’ve never even heard of?

Most of us say we’d do anything for love, and yet, all our actions and words seem to only push it away.

Every one of us is pushing away love in some way – because we’re all afraid of really getting close to a man and letting him see who we really are. We’re afraid of intimacy

And we all do it – push love away – in different ways.

Some of us talk a lot. We never stop talking, never really listen, and always have something to say. We talk so much because we’re nervous about what would happen if we stopped talking. If we stopped talking, he’d really see us as we believe we are – not really good enough on the inside.

The truth is, most of us women process our thoughts and feelings verbally. We say what comes to mind and sort of download it all in words.

This is really confusing for men. They get lost and frustrated because our talking seems like endless chatter to them.

And we spend a lot of time feeling as if we haven’t been heard.

And we haven’t.

If I were to ask you, to think of words and body language as either magnets to draw in a man, or fists to push him away, what would you tell me?

Would you say that you just want to be yourself and act “natural” and be “spontaneous?”

It would be great if saying what ever comes to mind could make us man magnets – and yet – it just doesn’t work that way.

And it’s not because being “spontaneous” and “natural” isn’t attractive to men – it is!

It’s because what we think of as “spontaneous,” “natural,” and “being ourselves” is most often really only our old nervous patterns (the ones that have never worked) coming up again, over and over.

And these old words and patterns actually keep love away!

To be continued on part 2…

13 Responses to ““Men are simple,but they’re not stupid” Part 1”

  1. chikapappi Says:

    oh god! you know how many posts I wrote about men!? the amount of crap I got out of it! LOL! girl! this is ever lasting..

  2. qwaider Says:

    Unlike chickapappi I think this one is not really about men. This is about women, and it’s AWESOME! This is one excellent post maioush and has so much deep thoughts and meanings in it.
    But I have a comment on…

    The truth is, most of us women process our thoughts and feelings verbally. We say what comes to mind and sort of download it all in words

    The highlighted part is actually not all accurate. Most women WILL NOT say what comes to their mind and that confuses the hell out of us

  3. Maioush Says:

    Qwaider.. It’s not me :) .. check the Author!

  4. qwaider Says:

    I thought that wouldn’t come out from Maioush!
    Thanks Friendayeh

  5. Simply Me Says:

    ‘And it’s not because being “spontaneous” and “natural” isn’t attractive to men – it is!’.. not always though. it depends on the time, the mood and everything else. You would do something and it would be totally ok and cool and fun for them, but then it might happen that you do exactly the same thing under different circumstances and then it would turn out bad :)!!

  6. Maioush Says:

    YEH!! leah heak tayeb Q!!! ma konna s7ab, ya3leena !!

  7. Jumana Says:


  8. mr.anonymous Says:

    inno..shu il kholasa min il 2ossa? whats the ultimate resolution cause I can’t see one in the horizon…and thats why “bab il hara” lifestyle rules…no control debate issues..she address him as taj rasi..and his word ma bitseer two….

    …okkk gotta go answer the phone fast..iza batawel la arod I’m in trouble..3 rings already!!

  9. mala2e6 Says:

    dont bother what they like and what they dont.come to think of it men differ,they are not all the same,so just be yourself and whoever likes you for what you really are deserves you attention.now about control they think we r trying to control them becuae they are trying to control us,its a matter of mark your territory thing,we dont want to control them becuase we are dictators we want to control them becuase they need to be controled at a certain point.they love to be controled,it relieves them of many responsibilities. :D

  10. Batoul Says:

    I agree with mala2e6. We cant always live with a mask on. What you see is what you get. Love it or leave it.

  11. Qabbani Says:

    ارنب سعيد ولا اسد حزين

    LOL EVE will never change :D as i say it before it make like more Fun just like adventure

  12. Princess N Says:

    Its true, not all females react alike.. as for me when i get offended or mad i simply shut down.. i let nothing in and nothing out.. and i know i end up confusing my partner, because of course he can sense that there is something wrong and yet does not know what and does not know how to fix it.. i cannot blame him if he got bored and stopped trying but there is nothing i can do about it :)

  13. “Men are simple,but they’re not stupid” Part 2 « Maioush Says:

    […] we talked in  Part 1 how men are really simple to deal with, but they are diffenetly now stupid, I’ll go int his […]

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