I started this blog so that I could just to kill the time here in LA, whine, and rant to my hearts content without having to worry about boring the hell out of my friends. I could write all I wanted, and even if my friends wanted to read it or not, that’s cool. I don’t really mind or care if they read it or not. I used to have an anonymous blog too, that I gave to very special people who were really close to my heart and I used to love the anonymity. At least then, I could show an even more secret part of myself. Finally able to let all the tension in my life go, it was an absolutely gorgeous feeling.
We all know how it goes, the longer your blogs on the blogosphere, the more people read it. You get more famous, you start to meet new people and you lose sight of what made you start blogging in the first place. People notice you now, it’s not like the times where you were a quiet little site nobody cared about and you could just go crazy and really be yourself. A little part of you dies, just like a little part of you dies every single day. You kill yourself in the virtual world as you do in real life. Every single time you accommodate another persons expectations to what you should be, you die. Every time you make an excuse for the person you are, you die.
Sure, it’s definitely a naive look at the world however everyone knows that feeling where they have to do something just out of duty but not desire. The older you are, the better you get at it and you need to do it to get by. We’re losing our new hope, we’re destroying what was once a place where you could be anything you wanted to be. Will we only realise this when it’s lost completely? Or when you realise that you’re a shell of the being you once were…
14 Comments
So you will change your profile quote to “Dance like no one is watching, Blog like every one is reading” !!
Dance like no one is watching, our teacher was completing it in another way..i like this quote so much
so i wonder now why did you had an anonymous blog..why dnt you just write whatever you want and show whatever side of yourself to everyone..exactly as you can say and do anything else you want without caring to a single person or comment..
oh god how beautiful the color is..
Exactly…I really regret having told people I know in real life about my blog because it has meant that I cannot use it to vent as I once did. I consider deleting my blog and starting afresh but then I would be very sad to lose the readers that I do have and the posts that I am proud of. I think many of us entered into blogging without first considering the implications, who to tell, who not to…intended audience etc
Ahhh!Maioush,I’m sorry you can’t blog like no one is reading.That is a tough one.
What about dancing, like on one is watching? Hopefully you can do that fully,that’s easer said than done,though,in my expert and valuable opinion.
Maious, i was depressed today, but OMG apparently not as much as you were when you wrote this post.
Anyway, i agree with you that blogging is a great way to vent off. However, i fail to see the restriction to be yourself in blogging. I mean, yes life does demand that you often do stuff out of obligation rather than desire. But, as for blogging, who gives a whoop.
I’d say, just let it loose, do whatever you want with your blog. If your restrictions are just to maintain readership, then you have to decide for yourself whether this is what your “true self” wants or not. If it is, then you are doing the right thing. Otherwise, just do whatever you want and those who are interested will come around.
Now, i think i’ll start the research that i was pretending to do all day
I liked the first part of your post, about why you did start.
And for those who wants to please other people, and pretend who they aren’t, well then that’s just dumb
I like your blog, full of life, keep it up
lol nice post, but do u have time to kill at LA?! lol
mmm btw i came here as i saw a visit to my site from urs but couldnt see any link to me ;p maybe it was from those feeds aggregators!
you are sooo true,
everytime we go with somebody’s else expectation we loose something inside,
but the good part that you know that, so you can redo it !!
mesh keda wel nabi ?
ahhh! I know that feeling. The part about a part of us dies made me think deep withitn. We really do kill a little bit of our personality to accomadate for the people we admire. Gosh, you made me have an epiphany loool.
hi Maioush…keefek?
Hope u r doing great
i realy don’t know why am i writting this,it’s just that some words touched me deeply.it realy did…that’s all
“mai” does anyone know the meaning of that name cause i don’t
I think the core of who we are is formed early on in childhood and it never changes. The cure to not having a part of you die unless you want to let it, is to re-examine yourself on a regular basis from the outside looking in.